When I look back on this 2010 then I float between Gück, sadness and hope. A year ago I would have never imagined that my life so walk and so developed. But I'm glad, because the reason I'm happy in my heart and I finally feel that my soul, my body and my feelings are coherent and united.
Review
In March this year I carried out in consultation with my former Psych login and my wife a 7-day Alltagestest for me. At that time found in the "hope" is a saturation in the "female". I was not at this stage of my transsexuality to that extent consciously as today. Back then I rented an apartment in Stuttgart and lived for 7 days as a woman in public, went shopping, got things done and everyday .... I was happy and each day grew even then the natural in me that I want to live as a woman.
In June this year, I moved after consultation with my wife in my "second" at home, an apartment with two other transsexuals my "Sally-home". My kingdom there comprises about 12 square meters, it is small but I am very happy there.
In July I have my opinions from my psychologist that my transsexuality basically confirmed. Heide Kraus my Psych login has looked after me very well and supported me that I was able to accept themselves. That same month, I have my Endrokinologin, visited Mrs. Dr. Phillip and thus now made my story even with health insurance according to known. She has referred me already at the first visit to Dr. Netzold my current accompanying psychotherapists.
This month I've outed myself to my employer, I am very understanding with my employer and pushed my way right now accompany many colleagues with me.
In August I had my first appointment with Dr. Netzold because of my urgent situation, which described in my opinion and has sent Mrs. Dr. Phillip well as findings of Dr. Netzold, I received my indication for hormone therapy obtained.
have September 2010 I started my Nadeleppilation and remove dark facial hair, approximately 1000 in the chin and upper lip area can be. The cost so far, I assume itself
October I begin more and more to let my natural and I am very happy because it gives me an inner satisfaction, however, until now the price is high, because the more I allow myself more more information I have my environment, to justify myself .... My stay in my flat as women are more often and for myself to understand. However, it is in the family environment more difficult to get a front upright for at this time know only my wife and partner of my transsexuality. The deliberate displacement of the situation of my sons, my friends and my family over on me more and more sad.
Life as a woman is more natural and obvious to me that hormones help a lot.
It is November and my inner turmoil is getting bigger, the Weschseln between a man and a woman, I no longer creative. It costs me more and more energy to meet the male part, no matter whether this is in the private or professional environment. In the meantime, I informed my sons, my great son (20) has aufegenommen very loose and of course, but I am still very grateful to him.
My little son (14) has recorded it shocked the whole family has helped to make him understand. I am very grateful to my family, because in such a situation is a true family bond that we in everyday life we are often unaware. I can not find the right words to express my feelings for the people of this family described. But still the turmoil of my person is still there. Therefore, we agree that I live in my flat during the week and on weekends and in the Holidays with the family live. This to me is an important phase, because one can I tell if I finally such a life that between two "persons" is constantly changing at all manageable. My life experience really begins.
The first weeks are hard, because actually I miss my family every day and on the other hand, I can not live in contentment when I'm not a woman can at least spend the evenings. To process all of this I won a psychotherapist, to further, this is only 10 minutes from my flat and he is very kind and sensitive. I have been living the life in a constant case. Unpacking, packing, case back and carry around are now zm Everyday life. These missions are very much on which two people are going to travel at least of her suitcases :-).
I can feel how much all this drain on my strength and energy.
In Decemeber are the first visible changes due to the hormones and also includes several colleagues already, meien hands are shoulder, arms become thinner, my face has become thinner and softer. Basically, everything is harmonious, that I have a hip does not bother me but now I'm proud of it. The Brusgröße is currently at A Cup, for me it feels great about, but the breast can be more difficult in the everyday work of the male Clothes conceal.
life during the week in my flat is now reinforced for me the rest of the family members and relatives, I briefed this month on me. For the first time I have in this context, a "self-runners" experienced in my outing, this is the case when a person without talking to my outing gives me further. So you have no influence to explain to these people and of course no chance of the situation.
My partner and wife is always with me more, so we have a realistic future, you go with me as a woman three days with friends in the Erzgebirge. There were two great days for us but just strange perceptions, we We were both strange and yet familiar. We note that we have to get to know new. For me those 3 days were the first in a long time in which I had no internal stress, the recovery effect was very big for me.
We see some chance that we have a common future with me will have a woman, but not in our common home. To this solution, we are currently working and I have noticed more and more that I have a very strong woman by my side. I can not thank her enough.
But the current coexistence will change, it is aware and it is very hard because the feelings are still there for each other. Basically we need some only because the society with the issue transsexual is not yet clearly separated.
About 3 weeks I have submitted my first name change in the district court and requested the name of Sally Sarah. As soon as I now ridiculous 900 EUR as an advance for the experts as to the process set in motion.
Conclusion: after all this I have now written down I will only become aware of in which rapid speed I move. But basically, I just let my natural person and the more I realize this naturalness, the less time I would like to say that I may or may not live. This has the consequence that increases my inner conflict. Reason to exist the "man" in me not merely to represent the presence in circles of friends or at work has not yet borne days.
view : as Eppilation IPL strikes as well and continue the changes in my body more and more, I think and hope that I can live my whole life experience over the next 3 months completely, does this mean 24 hours to live as a woman . I look forward to and yet I am also sad because I will lose again some friends and I hope that the distance to my family by not more, but we are working :-)
Happy New Year ... :-)
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